I want to know my fate if I keep up this way

Forewarning that this post is going to be more on the depressing side.  But hey, it's your choice to read it or not, and my way of outletting my thoughts.

Lately I have been feeling rather down.  To pin-point it on one thing it would be looking back on all the relationships I have built with people and how none of them have lasted.  We go through elementary school having a best friend one week and then hating them the next for something as pointless as they have a crush on the same boy.  We didn't really know how to define a friendship or relationship back then, but we still knew how substantial they were for enjoying life.  As we grew and struggled through our socially awkward years of junior high and even beyond that, we learned better how to relate to people.  We learn the correct ways to interact and what is acceptable.  When we were young we just did and said what came natural, until we were shaped into what is considered courteous and nice. If you think of it that way, you can see through all the bullshit.  You can see the fake show people put on because that is what we are suppose to do.  That is what we have been taught and we don't really know any different.  As we move through high school, we experience different group of friends, make and break relationships, change, form our opinions, and try to be unique.  We all felt so lost and unknown.  Yet we were probably the most pure forms of ourselves in a way.  We finally leave high school and we see all of these "friends" leave and go their own way, as you do the same to several.  You realize that you only created those friendships because they served you a purpose through the halls.  The more friends you had and the more people that liked you, the more substantial of a person you were, although you didn't actually give a damn about most of them..So you begin to understand how selfish people really are..only doing things to benefit themselves.  I think that's the best definition of why I hated school so much.  Everyone trying so hard to get everyone's approval, it was sickening to me.

That's been a really tough thing for me to accept, and trust me I am no exclusion to it.  I've dropped many many friends in the past because I didn't want them in my life anymore.  Thinking about it makes you feel so alone though, because you know all the friendships you have right now are so fragile, and either of you can simply drop it with no reasoning.  I wonder a lot how often this happens to other people.  I can't tell if it happens unusually often to me, or if I am just too sensitive about it. I am so tired of losing people.  It has a made me rather socially awkward, making me almost unsure how to create a friendship anymore.  I've been so close to people and out of nowhere they just disappear.  Or I've had best friends that continue to do the shittiest things, while I would do mostly anything for them.  What makes people so inconsiderate? Or are they just tired of being hurt as well, so that's their shield? It's tough to live in a world like that.