Love, It Blindly Breaks the Rules

My passion for writing increases when I am stressed with life. Depression has been the main trigger for some of the deeper issues I have written about. This is because in a state of depression, I only have my mind to take me there or pull me out. So I am stuck in my thoughts and what road they take me down. However, there are times, such as now, that I find a passion for writing simply by laying in bed and pondering life. Depression has no trigger behind this post. Upon this thinking and questioning life, I remembered a piece of paper I wrote months ago. This piece of paper was written when I WAS depressed and had many unanswered questions. Reading it, some things still ring true and deep. There is substance in what I wrote and I wanted to share it. So this is the edited version.

Love. What is it exactly? I was positive I had it all figured out. Maybe I still do. But really, I think no one knows. If they did, there wouldn't be a thousand quotes trying to describe it. I guess it's whatever you need it to be. So what do I need it to be? Love to me is making each other happy no matter what situations arise. Always wanting to be in the presence of one another. Feeling sad when they are sad, and happy when they are happy. I think love is knowing all the flaws in each other, but you don't see them as flaws because that person is perfect in your mind. Being equally crazy against the world, while crazy for each other. But to have love and hold on to it...How is that done? You need to be so incredibly understanding and giving, but also not let them walk all over you. You need to keep your pride and individuality in tact, while giving your heart and vulnerability to them. To find someone that fits all your ideals and can also give and take at the same rate you are taking and giving...can only happen once in a great while. It is disheartening. If you have all the chemistry and love for each other, priorities have to be in order too. Does one give up and admit it is not going to work, or will it all come together? What if it felt like fate from the beginning but things became foggy and exhausted. One fight to the next, one heartache to the next.

Love is complicated and my definition of love is still changing and will with new experiences. What matters now, is finding love in the simple things and being grateful for what I have. Just thought I would share :)